Travels with Spaniels: An anti-climax at the border and a very expensive trip to the loo

Everything had been planned with military precision for the crossing from Sweden into Norway. The latter is not part of the EU so dogs had been wormed, Pet Passports stamped and quantities of wine hidden out of sight in the van. Norwegian alcohol prices are ridiculously high as is their import duty on anything brought into the country over a certain amount. As we approached the customs post on the border I had passports and other documents ready and made a last check to ensure the bottle of champagne in the cupboard was well out of sight, prepared to bluff if out if a search party with sniffer dogs invaded the van.

In the end it was all a complete anti-climax. We dutifully drove into the red zone-no one else

Maniacs launch themselves off the top of this apparently

seemed to bother-and I scuttled off to the customs shed. The two severe-looking women behind their glass screens barely looked up. One of them motioned me to go back into the entrance and take a numbered ticket . As soon as I pulled it from the dispenser, my number appeared on the screen...hardly surprising as I was the only person in the building. One of the ladies checked one of the Pet Passports and said I was free to enter Norway. They didn't even check the said pets who were still sitting out in the van. Oh well.

Oslo from the top of the hill

After stopping at a service point just off the E18, Norway is particularly good at providing these for motorhomes, we dodged a Swiss couple, who had parked behind us with a four-wheel-drive monstrosity that was better adapted for invading Russia, and headed to Oslo. We ended up in a car park next door to the ski jump at Holmenkollen which had last been used in earnest for the World Ski Championships in 2011. The current structure rather cheekily carries the Olympic Rings although since the 1952 Winter Games were held here, it has been demolished and rebuilt. There has been a ski jump of sorts on the site since 1892.

Limited possibilities? No bloody possibilities.

Taking the spaniels for a walk proved a hazardous occupation as there is a roller ski slope close to the car park. Deprived of snow in the summer, Norwegians thunder down tarmac slopes at what seems like 60 miles an hour on small skis with wheels. With no brakes, and no steering, it is deemed better to get out of their way rather than rely on them to avoid you. The only disturbance we experienced was the continual arrival and departure of coaches carrying foreign tourists on those 'do Oslo in a day' packages. One Russian coach parked right next to us so I closed the windows. You never know who might be listening.

An artwork of shirts hanging on a wooden structure. Don't ask me.

It has been ridiculously hot in Norway so we decided to go down into Oslo at sparrows' crack to ensure the spaniels were not too stressed. Accordingly we set off at 7am on the amazing metro line that travels almost 2000 feet down into the city centre, twisting and turning around the contours like a twisty-turny thing.

The opera house has won several architectural awards

Having wandered around the waterside area, taking advantage of a cooling breeze from the fjord, we skirted the old town and got a tram to the sculpture park which features the works of just one artist, Gustav Vigeland (1869–1943). His sculptures seemed to mainly consist of naked figures, many of them children, and I did wonder whether he would get away with it today. We had skipped breakfast to get the spaniels out on time. Having stopped for refreshments- a sandwich, a croissant and two coffees £20- just confirmed how expensive Norway is. A visit to the ladies cost £1.50. It's the bushes in future.

Gustav Vigeland had a bit of a fixation

We had put the spaniels in their cooling coats but, despite finding a lake in the park where we could immerse them in water, it was getting just a little too hot for them so we headed back to the metro and then to the van having decided we had seen the best part of the Norwegian capital. It was time to start heading North to Lillehammer, our planned stop for the night. We paused on the way at Gjovik to service the van and then drove along the edge of the lake to our final destination, a deserted car park at the top of the ski slope that had been used for the 1994 Winter Olympics. It's been a winter-sporting couple of days.